Toast and Marmalade
by season5girl
Summary: The after effects. A ficlet from Neville's POV. No romance in this chapter. I like it, though! Please RR! But above all, enjoy;)
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Not mine. All mention of places, situations and characters known belong to J.K. Rowling at her respective companies. Auntie Emma belongs to me, as does this story, the words arranged as they are.  
  
Pairings: Slight pre-relationship hints of Neville/Percy, but none if you so choose.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Archive: Just ask!  
  
Summary: The after effects.  
  
By season5girl  
  
!!!!!!!!!!WARNING!!!!!!!!!   
  
SPOILERS I wrote this just after finishing OotP. So there ARE SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!WARNING!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Toast and Marmalade  
  
Gran says I don't have to talk about it if I don't want to. Which is good, because right now, I don't think I do.  
  
My nose doesn't hurt at all anymore, but sometimes I'll wake up from a dream and think for a second it's broken again.  
  
I'm scared, just because I don't know. I don't know anything that's happening; I haven't heard anything from anyone in…in the Order. Or from Harry, or anything about how he is! I know that I'm not totally fine…so…I guess, Harry can't be doing any better. He lost his godfather. He must be feeling horrible.  
  
I try not to…to be too tragic. I barely did anything to help, I couldn't even 'stupefy'…and I broke my dad's wand. Gran says she'll take me up to Diagon Alley sometime next week, after I've had some rest, to get me a new one.  
  
It's funny, but, when she found out it had gotten broken she didn't even scold me. She just sort of held onto my arms.  
  
She took me to dinner with my Auntie Emma yesterday, to 'Julius''. It's a really fancy wizards restaurant in London; my auntie said it was really posh.  
  
Normally, I bet the atmosphere is nice there. It had low lighting and round tables, and good silver; it smelled like Pompey Root: incensey.  
  
But it wasn't 'normally' when we were there. It was tense, all the witches and wizards at the tables seemed to be talking in eerie whispers – much too quiet – seemed to be almost afraid. Or maybe I was just imagining it. But Gran did seem even more eager to get home than she usually did, even with Auntie Emma.   
  
But I like my aunt. She doesn't say I'm clumsy, or forgetful, and she'll talk to me about my parents sometimes. Only if no one else is around though, and mostly…only if she has a couple sherrys. But that's a lot of the time.   
  
Then again…Gran hasn't said I'm any of those things recently. Not since…I got back; not since school ended.   
  
I haven't heard from the Weasley's either. I hadn't been expecting to, really. I wonder sometimes how they're all doing; this has to be…odd for them, rough for them. I feel so…left out. I just want to know that they're ok. I just want to help.  
  
I wonder sometimes how Percy Weasley is doing. It must be really difficult for him, too. I know probably a lot of people don't think about that, a lot of people probably don't like him right now, but it couldn't have been easy for him, either.  
  
He was always nice at Hogwarts. A little high-strung, yeah, but he was only trying to do what he thought was right. Sometimes I think he just wanted to be different than his family. Wanted to be…free.  
  
Well, he is now.  
  
But everybody wants something, and I just can't blame him for it. Everyone follows somebody else's lead sometimes, and sometimes it's foolish, the way Percy followed Minister Fudge. But sometimes it's not foolish at all; sometimes the course really is true. The way we all followed Dumbledore and the Order. So I don't blame Percy, 'cause it's tough to know the difference, sometimes.  
  
I'm falling asleep, dozing now. I've been sitting on the dado in the sunroom reading for the past three hours – since breakfast.  
  
I've been having toast and marmalade since I got home, and I think I'm taking comfort in knowing that's what I'll keep having.   
  
It's a sure thing. And since I feel pretty unsure now, it's nice to have something to steady yourself on.  
  
Even if it is just toast and marmalade.  
  
A/N: Chapter 1/?   
  
Heya, ya'll!;) Feel like reviewing? Please please?! Go on, become on R/R master! Gotta review 'em all! I just felt like Neville needed his POV expressed; I don't know, maybe other people already have written things like this and I just haven't seen! Oh well, I hope you enjoyed it! Unless you've skipped straight to the end for the Author Notey Goodness. In which case Tsk!   
  
Look for a Discworld fic coming soon, as well as a Snape-centric-Parents-Generation fic, coming as soon as my Muse will let it! Thanks everyone!!! 


	2. Letter

**A**/**N:** So here I am with my first fic posted in a .doc in eons and eons. Hope you all enjoy! This is chapter two, and I have chapters three and four already written, so expect them after some editing of them and meditating about them. This chapter is more what I think of as a mood setter, sorry it's so short, but that's just how long it decided to be. Who am I to argue?;) Reviews are of course! of course! welcome! As are flames; it's chilly today anyhow;)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Harry Potter related (I do own Mrs. Phorge), all that jazz belongs to J.K. Rowling and her respective companies. These words in this order are mine, though.

**Archive: **Of course! Just let me know!

**Rating: **Realistically, PG.

**Pairing: **Eventual Percy/Neville, practically none of it so far, so if that squicks you, no worries yet, but if it doesn't, step right up and stay tuned. Please consider this as a SLASH content WARNING.

**Summary: **The after effects. A ficlet from Neville's POV. No romance in this chapter. I like it, though! Please R&R! Newly updated with chapter 2! Enjoy!

Toast and Marmalade

Chapter Two: Letter

Gran says I'm looking better, now. She says I don't look so pale anymore.

I didn't know I'd been pale at all.

I decided a week ago that I should get up really early to watch the sunrise. But I forgot to set my clock to wake me, and so the next morning and I slept in too late.

Gran hasn't been waking me up like she normally would; she says I need to rest. She didn't say it to me, though. I only just overheard her talking to Mrs. Phorge, a witch who lives up the lane from my Gran and me.

I didn't know I needed rest, either. Maybe that sounds bitter, but I don't mean it to. I really don't! I'm not at all resentful – maybe I'm just still confused. I remember everything really clearly. But sometimes it'll get foggy. Like I've worn the memories out. Maybe I need to stop trying to remember so much and so often...

I got a letter from Hermione the other day. She said she thought it was about time somebody informed me of what was going on – she said she'd had a letter from Ron: the Weasley's were doing alright; the Order was still having meetings (She knew because Ron's parents were often rushing off to them) but she didn't know what was going on in the meetings. She heard Dumbledore sent Harry several posts over the summer; she said Harry must know a lot more about what the Order has been doing than she does, but that he hasn't really been writing to anyone.

She said that there had been talk of Harry going to stay at the Weasley's for break, but that it didn't look reasonable for that to happen anymore.

She'd had a letter, she said, from Professor Lupin, too, asking how she and her parents were doing. He'd sent one to Ron's family, also (she'd asked if he'd sent one to my Gran?). She said he'd sounded really down, but sort of hopeful.

That made me feel kind of hopeful, too. I don't know exactly what I was hopeful of, just that everything worked out, I guess, that everything went back to the way it had been. I don't think that's possible anymore though; too much has gone on...too much has been started and too much lost.

She finished by asking if I'd been reading the Daily Prophet? There had been an article on Minister Fudge in there, and they'd briefly mentioned Percy Weasley. He'd been promoted. She said she couldn't have cared less – the way he'd acted! Treating his own family so poorly.

She hoped I was holding up.

She sent her best wishes.

Hermione.

It made me sad, to hear that everyone was doing about as well as I am. Maybe I'm doing better than they are, though? That might be even worse.... I felt bad, too that she sounded so mad at Percy; I wasn't happy, but I wasn't mad at him. I didn't think I'd tell her that, though. I didn't want her to be mad with me, too.

It's not that I was defending what Percy'd done. I guess what he's still doing. I just felt sorry for him. He'd _wanted_ _some_thing so badly.

I think...

But, I think the first thing that comes along and the thing you really are looking for aren't always the same thing. I don't think Percy realized that.

I don't know what it is really, either, the thing that lately we're all trying to find. But I know I'm on the right side to find it.

The next morning, after the letter, I remembered to watch the sunrise.

**A/N2: **Well,hope you all enjoyed it! gets nervous It's been a really long time since I've posted anything, so please review, aw, go on! Become an R&R mastah! Has shiny badges to hand out...!


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